"I miss the snow, the sights, your crazy relatives, good food, and samohon," said Hubby as we were having a leisurely weekend morning. "Can we go back to Ukraine yet?"
And I am glad on so many levels that he likes my birthplace - my family (and for the record, they are no more crazy than anyone else's family), my city (despite the half-a-century worth of scary Soviet architecture mixed into the rich history), my food (he has tried everything he's been offered), and the unique traditions of the land. I am glad he can see past the poverty, the deep wrinkles earned by the hard life, and instead can see people who value education, are not too proud to grow their own food, and have never given up hope for a better life, if not for themselves, then for the future generations.
Although it has been a few weeks since we have returned, the impressions are still fresh on our minds. After all, going to Ukraine is a bit like going to a different galaxy. For me, its because I suddenly find myself back in my childhood, except that all the characters (including me) have aged. For Hubby, its because he finds himself immersed in a "funny" language (he is learning bits and pieces, but it is definitely not an easy language to pick up), communicating with his new family through the language of facial expressions and gestures (it works amazingly well, actually!).
This is the second trip we have taken there together. Like the first trip, most of the time was spent with relatives. We keep up with them through phone calls, mail (for pictures) and email all the time, but none of those technologies can replace the visits in person. They don't make it possible to hug your loved ones, hold their hand, or look into their eyes. So when we are there, we make a point to do just that. A lot of time was spent in conversation, enjoying food together, and, of course, drinking the home-made vodka, samohon, lovingly made out of home-grown pears by my grandfather.
The perverse incentives of academia
6 years ago
10 comments:
I'm glad that Hubby likes going to the Ukraine. You're right nothing can replace that in-person visit.
That sounds lovely, although a little bittersweet. It must be tough being an ex-pat. Actually, I sometimes find it challenging just to have an ex-pat partner, largely because of the guilt of living here and not there.
Amanda - I am glad that he has found a way to fit into my family, and certainly that couldn't have happened without those visits!
EGF - there is a lot of guilt involved, but it definitely helps to have an understanding partner: one you can build your life with, and, at the same time, honor your roots.
Sounds like a wonderful time, Sciencegirl, and so wonderful that your husband is embracing your family and culture!
The Bean-Mom - we really did! I am glad he is such a good sport!
I always feel bad dragging Mr E Man around all my friends and family every time we go to the UK. Especially when my parents expect us to see all of THEIR friends, as well as (and sometimes instead of) my own friends, who tend to be more fun. So I always try and take him somewhere he hasn't been before - Edinburgh, on the last trip.
I'm glad your husband had a great time over there! I think Mr E Man usually does too... at least most of the time... but of course going to the UK is not quite so culturally distinct and interesting as Ukraine.
Sounds like a wonderful trip and a nice reminder of what is important even for those of us that get to see family a little more often.
Cath - I feel a bit bad dragging Hubby around to see everyone as well, especially since he can't fully participate in conversations, but he seems to like observing the interactions nonetheless. People tend to speak freely around him (even though they barely know him) since they don't expect him to understand what they are saying; when they notice that I keep translating, sometimes they try to throw in "oh, you shouldn't translate that!" - but it is too late, he's figured out the plot ;)
Albatross - it is a good reminder, isn't it? I have been trying to make sure we see Hubby's relatives more often while we live relatively close to them; who knows where we will live next?
You're from the Ukraine?! Nifty! My great-grandfather and his wife were from there - Ellis Island! Our last name got anglicized, but we still have some family memores (and food!). I hope to hear more homeland stories!
n/a - I am! It is cool that you know where your ancestry comes from, and very cool that some of the family memories and food got preserved. Mmmm, yummy Ukrainian food (ok, so I may be biased a tad ;) - anything in particular that you yourself like?
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